#1335

This blog has been all serious lately. I think that is because I have so much going in my life -- what with trying to finish off my dissertation, teach an ornithology class, find a job for after my graduation and be the best dad and husband that I can.

I have a major decision to make in the very near future about my career...do I take a permanent position with a state natural resource management agency or do I try and hold out for a decent post-doc position that may or may not materialize. The post-doc thing will further me on the path that I set out on about a decade ago to be an academic research/teacher. I pretty much decided my first semester of college that that was what I wanted to do with my life. But there are no guarantees I'll get a position and even if I do they are temporary (a year or two at most). I have applied for grants and fellowships and advertised post-doc positions and I've had a couple interviews and some things are progressing, but the only definitive news I received is rejection. The State Agency job is permanent and provides stability for the foreseeable future, plus the particular job I am a finalist for sounds like it'd be a lot of fun. Sometimes the idea of having a 9-5 job where I wouldn't have to work on the weekends, or grade papers at night, or debug VBA code after Cate goes to bed sounds so appealing to me. But, I also think I'd be selling my self short if I gave up the academic dream...I've made a couple of short lists at University's for faculty spots and I don't even have my PhD yet. That tells me I'll be really competitive for those types of jobs in a year or two after I've post-doc-ed for a time. But, what is it with this ambition and ego? Ambition and ego don't usually lead to happiness; perhaps after 22 semesters of college it is finally time to settle down and get a real job.

This has pretty much consistently been my inner monologue for last week. No solutions or answers just a round robin of solid logic on both sides here. I think I am going to go after the academic dream. I think I am going to hold out for the post-doc and try to be confident that something will work out. I will be hopeful, not ambitious or egotistical.